I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
