How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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