he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
