I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
