woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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