What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
