Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
