yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
