The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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