Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
