3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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