I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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