yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
