Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So vagazzling was a success
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
