Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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