One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
