Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
