sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
