Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
