Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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