she woke up with a sticky ear
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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