omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
