i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
