y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize