Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
