Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize