Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
