paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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