every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
