what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize