Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
