i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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