Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
