Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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