i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
