In the future we'll all be gay
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
