hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
