hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think people are normalizing furries
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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