I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The ass gains better be worth it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
