i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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