Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
