look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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