I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
