You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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