New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
