He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
