Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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