Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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