Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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