i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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