also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
