I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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