i need an iv and a liver transplant
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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