No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
