I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize