Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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