Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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