belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize