He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there's paper in my vomit.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
