in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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