whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
