their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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