Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
worst night to have a conscience
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
